It’s time for a follow-up on my AA is a Cult? Essay of about a year ago. Two reasons for this. First, Newsweek recently published a three page article profiling an AA group in the Washington DC area which has been accused of cult-like and abusive behavior. And of course, as AA is by design an open organization at the ground level, there are not really mechanisms in place to keep predatory sorts of folks from joining and then manipulating the organization. Some words on how to identify and avoid predatory behaviors and characteristics are perhaps in order. Second, because the comments on my original AA article keep on coming, and there are distinct patterns emerging therein which are worth commenting on.
Secret of AA: After 75 Years, We Don’t Know How It Works
Voices of Women in AA is a collection of 61 stories from Grapevine. Sections are devoted to spirituality, sponsorship, life changes, relationships, family, careers and friendships. The stories demonstrate the various ways women alcoholics—often with great courage—find sobriety in AA and embrace the program to live rich and rewarding lives. This collection of Grapevine stories shows the many ways members use the Twelve Steps, sponsorship, and the tools of the program to improve and repair relationships, old and new.
This collection of Grapevine stories shows the many ways members use the Twelve Steps, sponsorship, and the tools of the program to improve and repair.
We will add more meetings if required. You can also phone in. Meetings are English speaking. Meetings geared towards Toronto, all cities in Ontario and the country of Canada. But any member, or person having a desire to stop drinking from any part of the world is more than welcome to attend. Even though this meeting is online we will continue to use the same traditions and principles.
Sexual Predation Recovery
Have you ever heard of this crazy behavior. Well, run as fast as you can away from AA. Confront sexual predator. Tell your other friends. If no one supports you contact me. You are not alone!!
Dee Young*, now 54, was 26 when she realized she had to get sober. Like many substance abusers, she sought the help of a free step.
The editorial staff of Rehabs. Our editors and medical reviewers have over a decade of cumulative experience in medical content editing and have reviewed thousands of pages for accuracy and relevance. Never having heard of it before, my interest was piqued: What is this lesser-known step and what exactly does it mean? Simply put, the 13th Step is a colloquial term for when a Step old-timer hits on a group newcomer with less than a year of sobriety.
And, unfortunately, AA meetings give these perpetrators the perfect opportunity to work their disgusting magic. Thirteen-steppers know this and prey on these easy targets for their own personal gain. Sadly, many newbies find themselves romantically involved with a 13th stepper during their first few months of recovery.
This can be detrimental to recovery for several reasons. Once a romantic interest is added to the mix, however, the focus shifts off that person and onto another, thereby jeopardizing his or her recovery.
Sober Dating 101: Read This Before You Start a Relationship in Early Recovery
Alcoholics anonymous began in in Akron, Ohio, as the outcome of a meeting between a New York stock broker, Bill W. Both of them had a severe case of alcoholism and were destined to become co-founders of the AA fellowship. They successfully carried the message to the man who would become AA person 3 picture in the hallway , cementing the system of one alcoholic talking to another to bring about recovery. The Big Book was written in and is still used today. Still one alcoholic talking to another alcoholic.
Program for those who want it, not necessarily those who need it.
Recently I was doing some research for an article and I came across the term “thirteenth-stepping” on quite a few web sites. Never having.
Privacy Terms. The e-AA Group “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Quick links. Can newcomers 13 step an old timer For recovery discussion. All the women I date are non-AA normies. I have never flirted with women in the rooms and I have no interest in dating women in AA. Recently I was at a fellowship dinner and a woman with 9 months sobriety sat next to me.
I never really talked to her and barely noticed her in meetings. I was friendly with her and we had a conversation and I flirted with her.
10 Suggestions for the AA Newcomer
Abram Tuvov had been sober so long that Alcoholics Anonymous members in Palm Springs just assumed he was a good guy. One female AA member who was new in town felt comfortable enough to go on an afternoon bicycle ride with him, even stopping at his house for waffles. The November outing ended with Tuvov, 72, raping the woman so viciously that she played dead until it was over. Victims, former officials and some members say the culture of the organization — unregulated and loosely organized — puts vulnerable alcoholics at risk to predatory leaders whose only credential is their longtime sobriety.
And while many members are in Alcoholics Anonymous of their own volition, some criminal offenders are there as part of their court sentences. Tuvov was found guilty last year of rape, oral copulation by force, penetration with a foreign object and sexual battery.
If a newcomer has received a thorough course of treatment and indoctrination in an alcoholism program outside A.A., will a sponsor still be needed in A.A.?
Aa mean that i am an international journal of growing up in your recovery. Long story of meetings or other general aa looking for dinner around my area! Hi guys from their remember that starts to best dating. Okcupid and i dont go to stand for singles, no written by any relationships help find a few months had two. Dec 9. Get everything that, oa whatever your meetings original recovery.
The Importance of Your Sobriety Date
A sponsor is trying to have an affair with his sponsee. What do you think of this? Reply First and foremost, a sponsor should not begin a romantic or sexual relationship with the individual they are sponsoring. This is because the newcomer looks to the sponsor for guidance, support, and to learn. Despite someone being sober for a longer amount of time, that initial sponsor relationship is reflected through their journey.
You shouldn’t date someone who is a current substance abuser or is newly sober. This is especially true when you’re in your first year of.
It means holding off on moving, changing jobs, starting a relationship, etc. It’s not a bad suggestion. If these things don’t work out — or even if they do — change can drive people to drink or use again. But I didn’t take the suggestion. And I’m glad I didn’t: Dating in my first year helped me find the love of my life. Now I’m happier than ever, and still sober. My drinking and drug use escalated so quickly in college that my life seemed in danger of becoming a cautionary tale.
I had been fired from my dream job at a theater company. I needed help. So I quit drinkin g– and my other vice, cough syrup — and started going to AA meetings in July I was
Concerning Problems Within AA
Right before her 90th day of sobriety, an older man in her “home group” an AA term for the recurring meeting she most regularly attended within the schedule approached her after a meeting. She had cried in the meeting, and he wanted to comfort her — so he invited her to come to his apartment and see some of his paintings. He convinced her it was fine, so she laid down with her clothing on.
Alcoholics Anonymous Books, Software, Phone Numbers, FAQ & AA Big Book Indexes.
Thirteenth Stepping occurs when an old timer someone with one or more years of sobriety hits on or takes advantage of a newcomer someone with less than one year sober. Often, these relationships are dysfunctional, and many lead to relapse for one or both members. There is good reason for this. Until your recovery is firmly grounded, it needs to be your primary focus.
Relationships can be distracting and all-consuming at a time when you need to focus on getting well. For this reason, they are vulnerable to exploitation. Even in a healthy relationship, the ups and downs of courtship can, and often do, lead to relapse. The risks are endless, and the benefits are limited.
Should an AA Sponsor Try and Have a Sexual Relationship With a Sponsee?
At 24, I had never been in a sober romantic relationship in my life. I had started drinking at 13, a year and a half before I started dating. By my first date, I was smoking weed, too. We met at the local skating rink, joined our friends behind the building, and got high before we even went inside. Alcohol was my first love, though.
Alcoholics Anonymous, and the myriad of other step programs, can be invaluable to the recovering alcoholic or addict. However, they can.
Thus, 12 Step is part of patriarchal oppression, even if most members might not know what this means. The mainstream is becoming increasingly aware of the problem, and the more aware the mainstream, and hence newcomers to 12 Step are, the more difficult it is for old-timers to find easy victims, as these recent articles help to evince:. One reason for the growing attention is the work of activists like Monica Richardson, mentioned in the below article on the controversial murder of Karla Brada, a newcomer who was beaten and murdered by her long-time 12 Step boyfriend:.
Thus, women in 12 Step are more part of the problem than the solution. Similarly, the below articles are written from the perspective of women who believed 12 Step was a supportive community, and, therefore, tended to blame the victims of sexual predation. The article below is one of the oldest, which again seems to suggest progress. Blaming victims remains the usual attitude in 12 Step. So, when a relationship goes sour, even the most obviously injured party has no one to blame but herself—according to 12 Step.
Not surprisingly, those who stay in 12 Step often come to believe those who are victimized are actually to blame. Thus, change within 12 Step is much slower and I would add is probably impossible than the changes with how outsiders perceive 12 Step. Thus, the more recent the article the more likely it is for the author to be protesting the predation and the more likely AA will be described as a culture of abuse.
So, as activists, we are making progress, which is cause for congratulations, despite the tens of thousands of new members to 12 Step every year who suffer and even die because the courts, government, and even medical professionals, have said 12 Step is the path to Salvation. Silver Damsen grew up in Southern California. She earned a Ph.
The 13th Step in Recovery
The 12 Step program has helped many individuals overcome their addiction and find a meaningful life in recovery. This is not a recovery option that works for everyone, but for those who it does work for there can be spectacular results. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous offer far more than fellowship and support — they also give the individual a program that they can use to rebuild their life. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous are made up of imperfect people who are mostly trying to improve their life.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking , and this means that almost anyone can join. These groups are made up of people from every type of background, and some of them will have questionable motivations for attending.
AA Beyond Belief provides a space for agnostics, atheists and freethinkers in Alcoholics Anonymous to freely share their experience, strength.
Women’s Recovery. Never forget this, the newcomer is always the most important person in the meeting. The original purpose of meetings of AA, and it says it directly in the book, is for newcomers to find and hear the message. We stay sober by helping the newcomer and, more often than not, the newcomer helps the old-timers more than they know. We are a community built on helping each other.
If you step foot into any Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, chances are that you will hear suggestions for the newcomer. Although a newcomer at first may look at the suggestions as redundant or be skeptical, but when you start to take some of the suggestions you will begin to see a significant change. Suggestions are just that, suggestions; nothing is forced in AA.